A few months ago, I went into a deep, wonderful place about the issue of my mortality. It was a heavy heart feeling, a call to action about how I should be caring for myself because my mortality depended on it. I had a choice. I could live entirely in the NOW and live my now as if it were my last or wait and do nothing today, thinking I had tomorrow, next week, month, or year.
- It’s quiet in my house. It’s an early before day Sunday, and I made an intentional decision not to turn on any music or television. I want to FEEL the quiet. Have you ever spent time FEELING the dead quiet? It’s a miraculous feeling. A tear drops from the corner of my eyes because that awareness of self is so present. I don’t give myself much time to feel that. In the quiet — you’ll find/feel a bridge to the other side that gives you all of the knowledge you need to find the answers to the questions about how to care for your loved one.
- Mom was a beautiful sight today, she was happy to see me, and I gave her all the kisses and hugs she could take.
- I also went and got a facial, total body wax and have scheduled a massage on the same day and at the same time thinking about how I would pay for her care. The lesson is I put myself first. My mortality depends on it. My life, her life, depends on how I feel about my mortality and what I will do about it today.
- I ordered up a personal trainer and expensed it as health insurance because it is. I’ve decided to let refined sugars take a back seat. Sugar had become my comfort from lack of intimacy when I was stressed at work or with mom’s care.